Earlier today I was talking to King Russell. He was in his room and I was standing in the doorway. He beckoned to me and said, “Come here a second.” As soon as I was in the room he shut the door behind me and said, “You were jerking around far too close to the top of the stairs.”

This afternoon I was at Poppy’s house. She’s a costume designer and often works at home. While I was standing by her desk I unconsciously picked up one of her sharp tools. She said, “What’ve you got there?” and darted across the room to disarm me.

Tonight I was watching a film at Leftwing Idiot’s. I was stretched out on the floor but struggling to keep still. He reached out and said, “Come and sit on the sofa.” I said, “I’ll be fine in a minute,” but a minute later I head-butted the floor. He helped me onto the sofa and held me still until I was calmer.

I do try to look after myself but I’d certainly get hurt a lot more if my friends weren’t so alert.