I don’t know what it is about ‘ticcing fits’ and dolphins but they surfaced again this evening. Last time, a few months ago, I started making their distinctive clicking noises, and tonight while I wriggled about I claimed to be one.

When the fit began I slid elegantly off the sofa and my tics went subaquatic:

“I’m a dolphin!”
“I’m graceful like a dolphin.”
“I’m splashy like a dolphin jumping through its own cum.”

Poppy and Sophie did their best to support me, despite being in fits of giggles themselves.