For reasons best known to my unusual neurology, every time I hear my phone beep to tell me I’ve got a new message I automatically say, “Fuck a sheep!”

Having Tourettes is an unpredictable business, and tics come and go, getting better or worse over time. So it’s comforting to know that my response to my phone’s alert, even if it’s a bit unusual, is consistent.

The ‘Fuck a sheep’ response has become a regular feature of life at the castle and it’s not unusual for my friends to join in with me when they hear my phone go. And at home, that makes perfect sense.

Bunny was away on holiday recently with her family. One night during dinner, someone else’s phone with the same alert sound as mine went off and without thinking she found herself shouting, “Fuck a sheep” in front of everyone at the table.

Fortunately Bunny’s family know me well and they quickly accepted her explanation. Their holiday went on without incident, and no sheep were harmed.