Leftwing Idiot called earlier and said, ‘I’ve got a present you’d like.’ This didn’t make sense for a moment but he explained ‘My dad gave me a present and as soon as I saw it I thought you should have it instead of me.’

Later on he came to the castle to with the gift. He told me to shut my eyes and hold out my hands, but knowing my tendency to overreact to surprises he added ‘You’d better put your arm-guards on first.’

I did as I was told and held out my hands as best I could – he put something soft into them and told me to squeeze.

I squeezed. It squealed once and I squealed a lot! Then I hit Leftwing Idiot on the arm, threw the gift across the floor, and flapped my arms about in chaotic over-excitement.

It’s wonderful – a plastic dog-toy oinking pink pig. Each time it’s squished it lets out a guttural squeal. Leftwing Idiot explained that as soon as he saw it he knew it would make my tics go bonkers.

He was right. So much so that later when I was hanging out with Zoë just the thought of it made my arm shoot out in excitement and whack her on the boob.

Leftwing Idiot said that he’d liked the pig himself but he knew he’d enjoy my reaction to it even more.

Thanks to Leftwing Idiot and his Dad for my new farmyard pal.