I’ve written a number of times recently about ‘Pink Piggy’ (formally know as Piggy) and my new addition, ‘Black Piggy’. Both are squeaky dog toys that I find inexplicably exciting. I’ve described how even thinking about the Piggies makes me shriek with joy.

This has now evolved into a game, though I use the word ‘game’ fairly loosely.

I’ve become fixated with guessing which piggy Leftwing Idiot and Poppy are thinking about at any given moment. I thought I was showing remarkable powers of Tour-lepathy, but some might argue that with the odds at 50/50, getting it right isn’t necessarily indicative of an unusual degree of extrasensory perception – ESP.

The game took on a new dimension this afternoon. During a phone call Poppy made yet another piggy squeal down the line. I’ve never seen this third pig and as Poppy refuses to tell me anything about it, it’s become known as Mystery Piggy. I’ve been trying all day to trick Poppy into revealing Mystery Piggy’s colour but she’s yet to let it slip.