I’ve spent the morning calling party shops to find out if they have a plastic pumpkin, a Christmas tree and a life size toy lamb…. Let me explain why.

As I’ve mentioned before, extracts from this blog are being turned into a book called ‘Welcome to Biscuit Land’, which will be out in October. Tomorrow we’re going all the way to Devon to do a photo shoot for the cover. This will involve an epic drive, a load of my amazing friends, a fairground and hopefully some of the things I’ve been trying to find today.

It wasn’t just me engaged in this odd quest. While I made the calls from the comfort of the castle, Leftwing Idiot was roaming around London collecting an increasingly odd array of props.