Leftwing Idiot and I have taken to calling my camping cup my ‘special needs beaker.’ This evening, as we were going into his living room to watch a film, I asked him to carry my drink through because I was hitting my head with my fist. He said, “I think you should try taking it. It might stop you hitting yourself if you’ve got something in your hand to concentrate on.”

I gave it a whirl but the only difference carrying my cup made was that the dents in my forehead were beaker-shaped.

Leftwing Idiot whipped it out of my hand pretty quickly saying, “No, no, no, that
wasn’t a good idea.”