I’ve mentioned the difficulty I’ve been having with speaking recently and it happened again the other day when I was with Fat Sister and King Russell.

Fat Sister looked at me blankly each time I couldn’t get the right words out – she had no idea what I was trying to say. King Russell, on the other hand, managed to sort out whatever was on my mind and translate it. He’s the only person I know who can make sense of the jumble of noises and words that come out of my mouth when I can’t say what I’m trying to. He seems able to recognise something in their structure or content, link it all to that’s going on around us, and then decode it.

This is uncanny and a bit baffling. Leftwing Idiots’ explanation: ‘He’s a computer.’