I wrote recently about one of the many tic-filled messages I’ve left for Laura on her voicemail. When I called her today she answered, so I didn’t need to leave a message, but the first thing I said was, “I’m a prostitute.”

This wasn’t the only tic-enhanced phone conversation I’ve had today. Earlier this evening I answered a call to the castle’s landline from a market researcher. He began his spiel and I had no opportunity or inclination to explain my tics.

Although I managed not to create the impression he’d got through to a brothel, he did get an ear full of fucks and biscuit. And after a minute or so he hung up.