Out of the blue this afternoon a new collection of sung tics turned up, and they’ve been coming in waves since then. Just when I think my brain’s moved on they start rolling out all over again, to the inspirational tune ‘You Raise Me Up’. This is just a selection:

“You lift me like duvets in the darkness.”
“You lift me up like brickwork sprayed with piss.”

“You lift me up like donkeys in a hailstorm.”
“You lift me up like Jenga on the moon.”

“You lift me up like toasters in the morning.”
“You lift me up like Essex men in Spain.”

“You lift me up like lamp-post in a sandstorm”
“You lift me up like buzzards’ flapping wings.”

“You lift me up like Dagenham in the darkness.”
“You lift me up like champagne loving rats.”

“You lift me up like spring buds in April.”
“You lift me up like duvets in the rain.”

“You lift me up like a cup of tea at five and four and one and two and three in the morning.”
“You lift me up like Sharon Stone’s tits.”

“You raise me up like an electric heater on your toes in winter.”
“You raise me up so Barbados can sit underneath me.”

“You raise me up so Godzilla can have a haircut.”
“You knock me down like Banksy in the bar.”

You Lift Me Up