My Wheelchair Grows Up
2nd July 2012
At the end of last week I had my wheelchair tweaked. After persistent problems with wheels falling off and poor manoeuvrability I took it to the wheelchair clinic to be looked at. William the wheelchair wizard took it away for a couple of hours and brought it back a reformed character.
Sophie described it best, ‘Wow! Now it behaves like a wheelchair rather than a stroppy adolescent.’ She went on, ‘I used to live in fear of upsetting it. Some days you only had to look at it and it’d lurch about, angrily slamming doors.’
She’s right – it has been transformed. It’s now co-operative, helpful and reliable.
William’s clinic is obviously some sort of finishing school for mobility aids.
Axiom says:
Here’s another silly thing you can do with your INCREDIBLY silly tics:
‘WBAGNFARB’
It stands for ‘Would Be a Good Name for a Rock Band’. American humourist Dave Barry had a running joke in his writing where he’d take a phrase out of the essay’s context and claim that it would be a good name for a rock band. Things like ‘The Flaming Booty Moths’, ‘Drastic Toilet Air’, and ‘The Flaming Salmonella Units’. I find myself doing it all the time, including on a certain superhero’s website.
Because frankly, ‘Goodnight Robot Dogs’ and ‘Alien Velociraptor House Party’ really DO sound like band names.