Leftwing Idiot and Poppy have been away at a festival for the weekend. Shortly after they left on Friday I got a text message from Leftwing Idiot that took me by surprise. It read:

‘If you get the chance to water the geranium some time that would be great.’

Ever since Leftwing Idiot got his potted geranium last year my tics have relentlessly abused it. As a result he’s become very protective of it and even evacuated it to his parents’ house last September when I went to stay at his flat for a bit.

So his message the other evening was the last thing I expected and it really made me laugh. I’ve dutifully looked after his precious plant over the weekend but I’m relieved he’s home today so I can hand the responsibility back to him.

I’m not going to tell him that while I was watering it I was ticcing, ‘Don’t Taser the geranium.’