Every day I tweet a new verbal tic on Twitter, and every day I end up spending far too long deciding which one to choose. Fortunately my mischievous friend @ticbot doesn’t suffer from the same indecision as me.

Trying to make my outburst specific to the day is always a lengthy task and it’s one Leftwing Idiot finds quite irritating whenever he’s with me when I’m choosing. On Sunday I was busy trying to find something perfect for the day, with Leftwing Idiot sitting next to me on the sofa. He tried to speed things up a little by saying, “Sunday….” to me in a leading way. It wasn’t long before my tics came pouring out. For no reason that I understand they owe something to the Wizard of Oz:

Sunday over the rainbow, fleas are teeth.

Sunday over the rainbow, DayGlo penis in the sky.

Sunday over the rainbow, Hastings fucked a bear.

Sunday over the rainbow, Saturday Kitchen fucked a golf buggy.

Sunday over the rainbow, glove puppet sex.

Sunday over the rainbow, tuna sandwiches for sheep.

Sunday over the rainbow, sunbeams in your mum.

Sunday over the rainbow, glitterati shape.

Sunday over the rainbow, time lords shift.

Sunday over the rainbow, worm hole in your soul.

Sunday over the rainbow, travel up your dog.

Sunday over the rainbow, slivers of light fell into your skin.

Sunday over the rainbow, Santa fucked your mum.

Sunday over the rainbow, dreams will shit themselves.

Sunday over the rainbow, Garibaldi biscuits will shit themselves.

Sunday over the rainbow, beanbags in your dog.

Sunday over the rainbow, bears flew into your room.

Sunday over the rainbow, drifting like your ship.

Sunday over the rainbow, ketchup loves your dog.

Sunday over the rainbow, September stood still.

Sunday over the rainbow, autumn rocked your mum.

Sunday over the rainbow, light sacked off its job.

Sunday over the rainbow, love stood still.

Sunday over the rainbow, the trees took off their clothes.

Sunday over the rainbow, Norman Wisdom fucked a gun.

When this unexpected flood came to a close my tics suggested Thursday would be the best day to share it – so that’s what I’ve done.