Thursdays aren’t traditionally the most rock-and-roll day of the week but I’ve gone about this one like a true rock star.

This morning while Leftwing Idiot was getting my wheelchair out of the cab at work, a ‘ticcing fit’ made me stage-dive out of the door and on to the curb. Fortunately the back seat of the car broke my fall but I still landed with a loud thud on the pavement. Leftwing Idiot rushed round to find out what had happened and with a bit of help from our colleague Kyle got me upright again. I could tell he was a bit shaken by what’d happened but the fit was a short one, and I quickly brushed myself off and we got on with our day at work.

This evening, as I was coming back from having a drink at a local pub with Poppy, I had another fit – this time in my wheelchair. My body went stiff and I lurched to one side. My feet slid behind the footrest and pushed against the ground with such force that the chair tipped over sideways. Somehow Poppy managed to grab my head and control my fall, but I still rolled over onto the pavement with my seatbelt keeping me strapped into the chair.

Unsurprisingly a small crowd soon gathered but Poppy politely asked people to move on, and with the help of a passing cyclist she got me upright again. I was still mid-fit so Poppy called Leftwing Idiot and he ran down the street to find us. Then the three of us gate-crashed the restaurant at the South London Gallery. The staff there know us well there and they found me a quiet corner to get myself together in. I was glad to be indoors and among such friendly people.

As soon as the fit was over we wheeled off into the night, back to the castle.

Sure I didn’t throw any TVs out of a hotel window but how I got away uninjured after today’s rock-and-roll antics is a total mystery. Party on.