I had a ‘ticcing fit’ in the toilet at work yesterday. I was able to pull the emergency cord and my support worker, Will, came to help me. It wasn’t safe for us to try and leave the room so, for much of the twenty-minute fit, I lay on the floor with Will carefully protecting my head.

My head was right next to the loo so naturally my tics started talking to the u-bend.

“U-bend, do you bend if you want to?”
“U-bend, have you heard of Ubuntu?”
“U-bend, when was the last time you saw a turtle?”

This made Will laugh, he said it reminded him of a fit I’d had when he’d first started working with me. I’d started to fit at the nature garden so he’d taken me to the accessible toilet for privacy. The door had been open and I’d berated the blue sky for teasing the u-bend because it was stuck indoors all day.

This was almost a year ago. Over the last year Will and I have found ourselves in some strange situations together. He’s watched with amusement as my tics have shouted at moorhens, bullied his left knee, not sworn at the geranium, got excited about sawdust and occasionally mentioned penguins.

As far as I’m aware yesterday was only the second time we’ve found ourselves on a toilet floor talking about u-bends. I’m fairly sure it won’t be the last.