You may have noticed I’ve been introducing lots of shows on Channel 4 in the last week, but my tics have been going one better – they’ve dreamt up a load of new programmes, including:

“My Big Fat Gypsy Sheep Dog.”
“I’m a Biscuit, Get Me Out of Here.”
“The Bees at Ten.”
“Time Team Star Trek Special.”
“Have I Got Christmas Trees For You.”
“Top Fifty Drains In Nunhead.”
“Heston’s Great British Carpet Lay.”
“Donkeyfile.”
“A Question of Nuns.”
“The Sheep Factor.”

Let’s see which of these great sounding shows gets commissioned.

Festive Outburst:
“Camp bed for Advent.”