Ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob Google Translate funktioniert gut. Wenn es das tut sollte sagen: ein großes Willkommen zu meinem deutschen Leser.

I’m trying my hand at German, not because my tics have suddenly jumped language but because my book ‘Welcome to Biscuit Land’ will shortly be available in German.…

This is going to be a very short post because I’ve gone and got myself a cold. It happens at the same time every year, just when I think I’ve managed to stay well all winter. Everyone at work seems to be ill too though, so at least it’s not just me.…

In the early hours of this morning I woke with a start. I’d been dreaming I was in a house with Fat Sister. It was my house, although it wasn’t the castle. We were in the bathroom and she was helping me get washed and dressed.…

It’s still a week until Shrove Tuesday – but we got things off to an early start at the castle this evening because tomorrow Zoë’s leaving for two months in Nepal, and Poppy was determined she shouldn’t miss out on pancakes.…

Going about life with a fractured elbow is a risky business. I’m still as wobbly on my feet as I’ve been for the last couple of years, and now I’ve only one good arm to break my fall if my legs give way.…

Just like a fish, time has darted by, which is why my last World of the Zodiac video is a couple of days late. I can’t believe it’s a year since we first recorded these tic-enriched predictions.

Pisces, you’ve had the longest wait and I’m confident you won’t be disappointed, so without further delay here’s your video:

I hope that was insightful.…

Yesterday I wrote about the sort of questions my tics have been asking lately – during dinner with Leftwing Idiot and Poppy this evening they came up with another one:

“Have you thought about why St Petersburg’s paved with horseradish saliva?”…

I’m forever bombarding my friends and family with very strange ticced questions such as:

“Have you pissed on a unicorn in the last four days?”

or

“Can you get a kangaroo holding a jelly through your letterbox?”

But recently my questioning has taken a new turn and I’ve been quizzing people on what they’re thinking.…

I arrived home from work earlier to find a surprise gift on my kitchen table. It was a packet of hot chocolate with a note to say it was from Poppy and Zoë. I was touched but a bit puzzled as to why they’d suddenly decided drinking chocolate was the ‘must have’ gift for me.…

Saturday 12 April 2014

12.00 – 16.00

Free event, booking required.

To book call 020 7887 8888 (and choose option 3)

or email weforgotthelot@tate.org.uk

Image by: Nous Vous

The story so far…

Late last year Tate Britain opened its newly renovated galleries and learning spaces to the public.…