I went to the University of Kent this afternoon to give a talk about Tourettes, biscuits, and the power of campaigning. It wasn’t the best-attended talk I’ve given recently but it felt like the people there were really paying attention and I was glad I was there.

Leftwing Idiot and I had struggled to get to the station amidst traffic chaos and freezing winds, but once on the train, the rest of the journey went surprisingly smoothly.

But if my tics had been in charge we would never have reached Canterbury at all. Each time the stations were announced over the intercom I started reeling off suggestions of my own:

“This is the Spanish Armada train calling at
Hull,
Bears Hatch,
Shane Ritchie’s Pyjamas,
Lionel-on-Sea,
The 70’s,
Ornamental Trinket Warehouse,
Cape Town.”

Fortunately for all of us, no one paid any attention at all, least of all the driver.