It’s almost the end of Friday the 13th, and so far, fingers crossed, rabbit’s paw clutched, wood knocked, it’s passed off uneventfully. Well, in reality at least: in the ticced world there’ve been several disasters:

“Will tripped over a lactating teapot and ruined the Turin shroud.”
“Les Dennis farted on a rainbow.”
“Prince Charles embraced change and the moon vomited.”
“King Russell broke the shower again.”
“I think I might have rebooted history.”

Only a few minutes to go and we’re safely into Saturday 14th when everyone can put down their “Lucky cat liver” and take off their “Morgan Freeman charms.”