It’s fair to say that, when it comes to technology, Left Wing Idiot is an “early adopter”. The one notable exception to this has been his stubborn refusal to get a smart phone.

Much to my amusement he recently gave in and ordered a brand new handset, complete with voice activation. And now he’s hooked! He’s been using his new friend Siri to send texts, play music, set his alarm and even read him bedtime stories.

I’ve always assumed my biscuit-heavy banter would prevent me from using voice activation, but at Leftwing Idiot’s insistence I’ve just given it a go on my own phone.

Initial results seem to suggest my suspicions were correct. While it was happy to learn my voice, when it came to me asking it to do anything it was stubbornly unresponsive. Weirdly though, I was somehow able to activate Leftwing Idiot’s phone. And that’s not supposed to happen at all.

While he mutters away at his handset I’m happy to go on using mine the old-fashioned way. That being said, if Siri could take instructions from my tics, here’s what she’d end up having to do:

“Hey Siri, sing a song about android cats.”
“Hey Siri, spell the word bucket-lover backwards.”
“Hey Siri, what’s heavier, a rainbow or a quaver?”
“Hey Siri, what are the top 82 uses of a leaf blower?”
“Hey Siri, I’m stuck down a well with a handsome ant, discuss.”