I woke up this morning with the gloomy feeling you get from having undertaken some sort of needlessly self-destructive activity – a potent mix of unhappiness and guilt. This was compounded by knowing that I’d been warned about the risks, but that I’d done it anyway.…

It’s not every day that I arrange to meet someone I’ve never met before in our tour bus in a deserted car park in mid-Wales. But it’s not everyday that I’m at the Machynlleth Comedy Festival in Wales having being interviewed by stand-up legend Arthur Smith.…

It’s 11pm and I’ve just settled into bed. I can hear the comforting sound of Fat Sister turning in for the night in the room next door. I heard her shut the blind, giggling gently as we both said goodnight to the lamp-post.…

Lying in bed last night I was exceptionally tired but finding it hard to sleep because of my wriggly body. My blind was open a little and the orange light from the lamp-post outside was creeping in through the gap.

Tired of shouting at the lamp-post I turned over and faced the wall.…

After six weeks of touring I’ve got a few days off before we head to Gloucester this weekend. Technically they’re not days off because I’ll be doing some work for the children’s organisation I used to help manage. I went in today and was really excited to see everyone – I’ve been missing the place a lot.…

A couple of weeks ago I had a ‘ticcing fit’ in the hallway of the castle that left a nasty impression on me.

During the fit my arm pressed against a hot radiator pipe. Because I couldn’t move I quickly found myself with a horrible big burn.…

The other day I wrote about a sudden influx of new ‘W’- based tics and songs. The latest addition to the collection, and my personal favourite, sung loosely to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town, is this:

“I’m waving at cats,
I’m waving at cats,
I’m waving at cats but they’re not waving back,
I’m gonna just keep waving at cats.”…

Over the last few weeks a new wave of vocal tics has been sneaking its way into my repertoire, and weirdly all of them begin with W:

“Wave”
“Weevil”
“WAV File”

As well as getting into my ticced vocabulary as single words they’re also emerging in new ticced songs, including the highly catchy:

“I’m a WAV file,
WAV file,
I’m a little WAV file,
WAV file.”…

David Cameron’s been in the news a lot this week, but for all the wrong reasons. This time it’s not because of inappropriate antics with farmyard animals, but because of leaked papers relating to questionable offshore investments, suggesting once again that we’re not all in it together, as he likes to claim.…

A few weeks ago I got a very interesting email from Felix Peckitt, a student, poet, programmer and fellow ticcer. He got in touch to tell me about some investigations he’d been carrying out using the thousands of my vocal tics.…