When I was little my Gran would often talk about the ‘dawn chorus’, that moment in the early morning when the sun starts to rise and the birds begin to stir and start singing. She left me with the strong impression that this was only meant to happen at dawn.

But no one appears to have told the birds in the castle’s garden – they chatter away all night. I know this because my sleep is quite disturbed at the moment and I’m often awake in the depth of the night – and so too are they.

My tics took issue with that earlier today:

“Shut up birds, I’m trying to count sheep.”
“Birds, I’m going to report you to Environmental Health.”
“Birds, you’re noisier than thunder with a hangover.”
“Soundproof the birds with an egg box.”
“Birds, what are you planning?”

Either my Gran’s information was wrong or these birds are up to something.