At work today I had a ‘ticcing fit’. I lost all regular speech but my vocal tics continued. Much to my surprise and that of my colleagues a strange story emerged. Here’s my Tourettes-generated fable:

“There was a table and tortoise
The tortoise had a shell made of caves,
The table had a brain made of waves.

The table was useful and the tortoise was slow.
They were both united in their hatred of Pinocchio.

The tortoise longed for an artichoke heart, some frankincense and a smart phone in chrome.

The tortoise was a dreamer and the table was a piece of furniture.

Together they invented a spiritual hare and popularised the art and culture of sausage dogs.”

The moral of this story is a bit vague – as usual my tics were strong on the surreal and weak on the sense.

My fit finished before the story did so who knows if this was the end of the Table and Tortoise’s adventures, or whether they’re to be continued…