I had a ‘ticcing fit’ earlier. Will, who was supporting me, managed to get me onto a mat and wrestle the broom I’d grabbed out of my hands. A few minutes later I found myself ranting about ‘the system’:

“A rake, put it in the system.
Earthworms, put them in the system.
Dandelions, put them in the system.

Fallopian tubes, put them in the system.
Alan Hansen, put him in the system.
Sellotape, put it in the system.

Squirrels, system.
Clocks, system.
Period dramas, system.

Compassion, put it in the system.
Keith Allen, put him in the system.
Goldfish, put them in the cistern.”

I’ve no idea which systems Tourettes had in mind, but next time you’re getting things in order, try throwing in an earthworm.