I’ve had my beloved “biscuit” tic for almost six years now, and soon it’ll be the longest-serving of my vocal tics … but not quite yet. Before “biscuit” there was “squirrel”, by itself, or with variations like “squirrel, squirrel”, “squirrel tits” and even “A squirrel wearing its mum’s jumper.”

‘Squirrel’ was around for at least six years, and like ‘biscuit” it became something many people strongly associated with me. Even now Fat Sister’s prone to buying me squirrel-related products.

Tonight something popped up on social media that made me start thinking about squirrels again. It was this set of amazing squirrel photos marking ‘squirrel appreciation day’.

So, in appreciation of squirrels in real and tic form, here are my top five squirrel tics of all time:

“I don’t believe in flying squirrels, I believe in landing dogs.”
“Life begins at squirrel.”
“There’s a squirrel in your pants.”
“Everybody needs a squirrel wearing leggings in their life.”
“I have a confusing relationship with squirrels.”

And I’ll leave you with these final words of wisdom:

“Dear squirrels, I salute you.”