If you’re in the UK it’s unlikely to have escaped your attention that there’s a wedding happening today – the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

I’d been expecting this post to be about wedding-related tics and I certainly had some at the start of the day:

“Royal weddings make the corgis wee.”
“Do you, rubber duck, take you rubber band to be your lawful rubber wife?”
“Prince Harry and the cheese board of doom.”

But then my tics took a very different turn. You could say they took a U-turn, or more accurately a U-bend.

“Hi U-bend, we haven’t talked shit in a while.”
“U-bend, would you rather marry the toilet roll or the radiator?”
“U-bend – first name Urine, second name Bend.”
“U-bend, you’re more flexible than a cat doing yoga.”
“We found love in a hopeless place – the U-bend.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve chatted to U-bends. In fact two of them made a cameo appearance in our first stage show, Backstage in Biscuit Land. But it’s been a while since this vital piece of plumbing became the focus of my tics.

Who knows why the U-bend surfaced today – it certainly made me laugh.

Good luck to all the U-bends of Windsor on this historic day.