Earlier this evening Leftwing Idiot and I were chatting on the phone when he said something that made me draw breath. For a moment it felt like my brain stalled, jarred by a sad truth in an ordinary conversation.

We were talking about my pain and sleep, and how much easier it was to manage these when we were in Portland where cannabis was legal.

Leftwing Idiot said, “It wasn’t just that you were sleeping better, I heard you laughing too”.

It was gutting to hear him point out how little I’m laughing at the moment. I’m desperate for things to get easier – and hopefully they will.

I had a pain clinic appointment yesterday and they’ve increased some of my medications and added some new ones.

The amount of medication I’m taking each day keeps increasing I don’t feel totally comfortable with this. It’s getting hard to tell what issues are genuine symptoms and what might be side effects. I’m keen to make some progress though and so am giving this a go and crossing my fingers it will help.

I’ve also got everything crossed for a change in our laws around cannabis here in the UK so I can use the one medication that I know for sure works.