It’s my support worker Ellie’s birthday. She was supporting last night too, so we were together as the clock struck midnight and she turned twenty-five.

At that exact moment Ellie was helping me with my pre-bed catheter and my tics celebrated with a special song to the tune of a Whole New World from Disney’s Aladdin.

Ellie joined in and as we continued our beautiful birthday duet I pressed ‘record’ on my phone which means I can share all the lyrics of this new masterpiece with you.

Hold onto your piss:

TH: “A whole new pisssssssss!
A whole new pissy, pissy piss
I made this piss for you
This slimy piss, straight here for you, here is my hot piss.”

Ellie: “A whole new pisssssssss!
A big hot boiling bag of piss
No one to tell us no
Cause here’s my piss
Don’t say you’re only dreaming…

TH: “Here’s my pissssss!
A whole new bag of boiling wee
A whole new pissy, piss
A yellow piss, a urine from my heart into your sheeeeeeep.”

Ellie: “I can show you my piss
Shiny, shimmering, splendid!
Tell me Ellie, oh when did you last let your piss…

TH: “Pisss piss, piss, piss”

Both: “Pisss, piss, piss, piss!”

TH: “You’ve been on earth twenty five years
Have a bag of warm piss
Welcome to the world, Ellie and her pissss!

I went on singing long after the catheter bag was safely disposed of. Ellie stated with confidence that it was one of the most surreal starts to a birthday she’d ever had.

It was certainly one of my most musical wee’s too.