Leftwing Idiot and I were having dinner at a café tonight. I was drinking grapefruit juice through a straw so I didn’t need to worry about lifting the glass.

While we were eating I accidentally flicked the straw and splashed grapefruit juice in my eyes which made me squeal.

Leftwing Idiot looked at me, laughed and said “that was nothing to do with Tourettes, was it?” I was tempted to lie and say it was tic-related but we both knew it was just clumsiness.