Several years ago I worked with a woman whose son was an aspiring young rapper. Time passed and the young man in question became Giggs, one of the most controversial rappers in the UK.

He’s probably best known for his 2008 track Talkin’ Da Ardest,

I’ve heard this a lot on and off since then, but never with the lyrics I ticced tonight:

“If you’re talking the hardest
Just fuck a Golf in a bin with a Lada.

If you’re talking the hardest
Just ballroom dance in a park with a glass lift.

If you’re talking the hardest
Just roll over and spark out in Argos.”

I’m not sure what Giggs (or his mum) would make of these lyrics but I reckon having Tourettes has improved my chances of becoming a freestyle rapper no end.