It’s been a while since I’ve travelled by tube at rush hour. It’s a pretty unpleasant experience for everyone and this evening I experienced the added difficulties that having Tourettes can present in this situation.

I waited on a busy platform at Green Park, squawking, jerking and shouting. The challenge of tube travel at this time of day is the need to stand at the edge of the platform where the train doors will open to gain a space. This isn’t compatible with unpredictable, uncontrollable jerking.

I had to keep retreating to the back of the platform and content myself with shouting helpful instructions like “Push,” and responding to security announcements by shouting “Bomb, bomb, bang!” I also contributed some less relevant instructions – “Piano practice now” – and responded to odd looks with “Pay per view.” Seven packed trains went through before I was eventually able to get on one.

My frustration was compounded by the fact that Laura who I was meeting for dinner was hungry and quite likely to have wilted away as I battled to secure a spot under someone’s armpit.