I’ve described many times how even the slightest emotion can trigger an entirely disproportionate reaction in my body. This happens when I’m happy and excited, during films for example, or even when I simply roll my r’s. The reaction is instant and uncontrollable and can lead me to throw myself across the room, bite my arm, and screech.

I use various strategies to help me avoid this including wearing my Squease, and being reminded by my friends and support workers that I’ve ‘decided not to overreact’.

Today, while I was watching an exciting film with Poppy, I tried a new approach – I concentrated all my thoughts on solid, rooted, well-balanced objects like electricity pylons in an attempt to calm myself down so I could enjoy what I was watching properly.

Amazingly, this was quite helpful. But the calm was short-lived and ended when Poppy suggested a controversial alternative to the pylon: the lamp-post. My tics responded in a flash “The Lamp-post is as balanced as a cum-guzzling snail rolling down a hill.” Now it was Poppy’s turn to overreact and she creased with laughter.

I’ll continue to search for ways of restoring balance to my mind and body when I’m overreacting, but unsurprisingly I don’t think the lamp-post will have a role to play in this.