Leftwing Idiot’s been away at the Edinburgh Festival for three weeks and while he’s there I’m looking after his geranium at the castle. He was very wary of leaving it with me given our history, but at the halfway point of his time away it’s looking very healthy.

Ever since Leftwing Idiot was first given the geranium two years ago, whenever I saw it I’d abuse it verbally and stick my middle finger up at it. Since it’s been living with me I’ve been fighting this urge and as I described before I’ve been reminding anyone who comes in that they’re not allowed to swear at the plant.

When I was with my support worker Will a few days ago I told him not to swear at it. But he immediately did, and my tics instantly copied him and I stuck my finger up at it too. It was the first time I’d done this since it arrived and I told Will off for encouraging my tics.

For the rest of the day I kept brandishing my clenched fist at the plant saying, ‘I’m not swearing at the geranium’. This made Will laugh and he joined in too.

So don’t worry Leftwing Idiot, we’re not swearing at the geranium, even if it looks like we might be challenging it to a fistfight instead.