It’s Leftwing Idiot’s birthday today, we’re all celebrating, and I’m feeling a great relief as well.

I’ve written loads of times before about how difficult it is to retain the element of surprise when my neurology’s determined to reveal my secrets. My tics have spoilt many surprises and it’s always a big disappointment when they do.

But this year, somewhat miraculously, I managed to keep Leftwing Idiot’s present under wraps for two whole months! In actual fact, the length of time probably helped. I bought his gift at the start of the summer and immediately tucked it away somewhere in the hope that the saying ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ would also mean ‘But not out of mouth’ as well.

This strategy seemed to work but in the last week, as the day drew closer, my tics occasionally wandered onto the subject. In the last few days I’ve told Leftwing Idiot I’d got him “A Shetland pony”, “A sheepdog” and “The Humber Bridge.”

Fortunately none of these were his real gift, which was in fact a book of photographs he’s been after for a while.

Happy birthday Leftwing Idiot! Who knows, maybe next year I will get you a pony!

The next big challenge is Christmas. Perhaps now’s the time to put some thought into a cunning plan to trick my tics into keeping my secrets. Any ideas are gratefully received.