Yesterday Fat Sister, King Russell and I drove to my parents’ house for a family get-together. We had delicious food, enjoyable conversation, and a lovely time.

The traffic on the way home was as slow as it usually is on the route we take. To begin with, as we started down the Edgware Road, the car was echoing with the usual “Biscuits” and “Hedgehogs”, but by the time we reached Marble Arch there was a very noticeable addition the repertoire:

“Squiggle”

Somewhere down the road I’d developed this new tic. I’m not sure exactly when it arrived, but as the traffic crawled along my sister said, ‘You’ve been very squiggly for the last five minutes.’ She was right, and “Squiggle” has continued to perform strongly ever since.

Leftwing Idiot doesn’t think it’s a new tic at all and says I’ve had “Squiggle” as a tic before. He may well be right but I can’t recall it. Every now and again instead of “Squiggle” I say “Squirrel” which definitely is an old tic. “Squirrel” was my constant companion for many years (pre-biscuit) and hearing it again feels strange and comforting at the same time.

How long I’ll be squiggly is anyone’s guess – it could be hours or years. The arrival of any new regular tic is a reminder of how bizarre Tourettes is, and always raises unanswerable questions: ‘Why, “squiggle”? Why Edgware Road on a Sunday evening? And what will be next?’