I woke up this morning, pulled up the blind and almost immediately began scolding the three big trees I can see from my window.

“Trees, why aren’t you wearing coats?”
“Trees, you’re so naked!”
“Trees, are you being nudists now?”
“Trees, you could get done for indecent exposure.”
“Trees, I think you might be too old for Page Three.”
“Trees, how would you feel about a waterproof onesie?”

They paid no attention and carried on standing tall, proud and bare.