Leftwing Idiot and I had an unusually long wait for my fracture clinic appointment this morning. We sat in the large waiting room chatting away while a steady stream of staff marched in calling out other patients’ names, but not mine.

Eventually our conversation slowed down and my tics turned their attention to this roll call. Naturally they were keen to help and called for a whole range of people just in case they were waiting patiently and had been overlooked. In no particular order they called for:

“Ronan Keating, Jill Dando, Pharrell Williams, Tony Hart, Nicholas Nickleby, Dominic Doorknob, Epsom Downs, and Dancing Cats.”

Unfortunately, my efforts didn’t manage to reduce the number of people waiting to be seen.

The good news is that my arm’s much better and the doctor who saw me said I could get on with everything as usual. So watch out world, I’ll be back on the road in my all-terrain wheelchair from tomorrow!