Fact: I hit my head with the Hoover.

Fiction: “I have a mains supply to my head.”

I watched Jason and the Argonauts this evening with Leftwing Idiot and his friend Poppy. I also head-butted a door frame. I didn’t have a cap on to protect me, so this time the Tourettes won and I got an instant lump.…

I nearly knocked myself out when I went to the toilet by lurching forward on the loo and hitting my head on the basin. Fortunately I was wearing a new cap so I was one step ahead of my Tourettes on this occasion.

I just hit myself with a sock.

This would not have been a problem had it not contained my house keys. I’ve resorted to keeping all my keys in socks to limit the likelihood of denting my face.

I seem to be turning everything into a weapon at the moment.

I’m still hitting myself in the face quite a lot and as a result I’ve found that there’s a part of my cheek that – when hit – makes my eye twitch.

One side effect of drinking last night is that I lost one of my padded gloves. Fortunately it wasn’t one of the nice ones donated by the boxing community but one I wear every day. It was falling apart anyway and starting to smell unpleasant, but it protected all the crucial bits of my hand while still being fairly discreet.…

I got in late from work this evening and slumped on the sofa next to Fat Sister. The TV was on and she was playing with her iPhone. My arm was ticcing and that meant I was hitting my face repeatedly, so I asked her to help keep my hand still.…

A few days ago I called a company that makes boxing equipment to find out if they had any products that might limit the damage to my hands and face caused by some of my current physical tics. The man I spoke to was lovely.…

At the moment I’m not taking any regular medication for Tourettes. In the past I’ve tried various drugs, but when they stopped working I decided to have a go without them. That was about two years ago. I’m currently reconsidering this decision.…

My knuckles are giving in. The skin has eroded on my hands where I bang them against my chest to a point where they are cracked and bleeding despite me wearing fingerless cycling gloves to protect them. This skin damage makes banging my chest hundreds of times an hour even more painful.…