I’m quite surprised to find myself at the last day of 2017. There are a million clichés about time passing quickly, and I’m loath to mention any of them, but this year really does feel as if it’s gone by extra-fast.…

Touretteshero’s had a birthday party in the past, and has delivered lots of events, but we’ve never had a team party before, and that’s because until recently we were mainly just a team of two, Leftwing Idiot and me.

Not anymore though.…

The festive season’s in full swing and I’ve been doing my Christmas shopping. My tics add an extra layer of complexity to this, but it’s not because I have trouble getting to the shops – online shopping sorts that out – nor is it to do with actually getting the gifts – it’s about keeping them secret!…

When I was little my Gran would often talk about the ‘dawn chorus’, that moment in the early morning when the sun starts to rise and the birds begin to stir and start singing. She left me with the strong impression that this was only meant to happen at dawn.…

My niece, affectionately known as Squidge, is now six months old and she’s been desperately trying to stand for the last few weeks.

I’ve just got back from performing at the No Limits Festival in Berlin. Before we went Leftwing Idiot was teasing me that the baby’s standing was almost good as mine.…

My Gran loved all sorts of sayings, like, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water”, “Let the dog see the rabbit” or “A watched pot never boils.”

But she particularly loved sky-based sayings: “There’s enough blue sky to make a pair of sailor’s trousers” or “Red sky at night, shepherds’ delight, red sky in the morning, shepherds’ warning” (which I still consider a reliable weather forecast).…

My niece is now three months old and she’s an excellent being. I see her most days and my surreal ticced songs have become part of her bedtime routine. But for the last week we’ve been busy with previews of our new show ‘Not I’, so I haven’t seen her or Fat Sister for a few days.…

I lay next to my friend Lottie on a handmade quilt, under a majestic tree. Looking up we could see fairy lights entwined in its branches, and its jagged leaves were silhouetted against the dark, clear sky. The backs of tall London houses surrounded us, their solid brickwork broken only by the pools of warm light that spilt from their windows onto the deep green of the large communal garden.…

It’s half term this week. When I worked at Oasis, a busy children’s play organisation in Stockwell, the school holidays were always our busiest period. Now that Leftwing Idiot and I work full time for Touretteshero, the pattern’s changed slightly and we’re a bit more in control of how intensively we work.…

Like all super villains and/or daft comedy characters, Theresa May has a catchphrase. It isn’t “Exterminate!” like the Daleks, although that would fit with her polices, and It certainly isn’t, “I have a cunning plan” like Baldrick in Blackadder.

Theresa’s catchphrase is “Strong and stable”, and she says it an awful lot, probably as much as I say biscuit.…