This is going to be a very short post because I’ve gone and got myself a cold. It happens at the same time every year, just when I think I’ve managed to stay well all winter. Everyone at work seems to be ill too though, so at least it’s not just me.…

It’s still a week until Shrove Tuesday – but we got things off to an early start at the castle this evening because tomorrow Zoë’s leaving for two months in Nepal, and Poppy was determined she shouldn’t miss out on pancakes.…

Just like a fish, time has darted by, which is why my last World of the Zodiac video is a couple of days late. I can’t believe it’s a year since we first recorded these tic-enriched predictions.

Pisces, you’ve had the longest wait and I’m confident you won’t be disappointed, so without further delay here’s your video:

I hope that was insightful.…

Yesterday I wrote about the sort of questions my tics have been asking lately – during dinner with Leftwing Idiot and Poppy this evening they came up with another one:

“Have you thought about why St Petersburg’s paved with horseradish saliva?”…

I’m forever bombarding my friends and family with very strange ticced questions such as:

“Have you pissed on a unicorn in the last four days?”

or

“Can you get a kangaroo holding a jelly through your letterbox?”

But recently my questioning has taken a new turn and I’ve been quizzing people on what they’re thinking.…

Tomorrow people around the world will be celebrating St Valentine’s Day – since the Middle Ages it’s been the day to celebrate love and romance.

But people I know will be celebrating a something a bit different, something my tics have chosen to call: Alantine’s Day.…

I glanced at the kitchen window earlier and noticed how much the mini geranium had grown. Back in November it was just a broken branch from Leftwing Idiot’s much discussed plant. But I planted it and it’s thrived.

I’m a bit haphazard in caring for this geranium, but I’m not at all mean to it.…

Last night King Russell and I were hanging out at the castle when we suddenly saw a tiny mouse dart under the fridge. Neither of us was too bothered by this, but my tics immediately started chatting to the new rodent resident.…

The Winter Olympics started today, something that might well have passed me by had my tics not got involved, suggesting a flurry of new events:

“Down Hill Donkey Tobogganing.”
“Limbo Dancing on Ice.”
“Tiddlywinks in the Rain.”
“Duvet Diving.”
“Down Hill Freestyle Conga Slalom.”…

I woke up this morning, pulled up the blind and almost immediately began scolding the three big trees I can see from my window.

“Trees, why aren’t you wearing coats?”
“Trees, you’re so naked!”
“Trees, are you being nudists now?”
“Trees, you could get done for indecent exposure.”…