Well, not an actual new job. This morning as I got ready for work my tics suggested a new area of employment through the medium of another ticced song. Here’s how it goes:
“I’m just laying AstroTurf in Richard Branson’s mind.…
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a new ticced song. The chorus was about animals liking it ‘Hard in the face.’ It seems my tics have decided that simply singing about liking it hard in the face is no longer enough.…
At the weekend Poppy stopped in at the castle to pick up a few things on her way to Leftwing Idiot’s flat. She asked if she could have a plant pot so she could re-pot his geranium. Given my tics’ on-going hostility towards this plant it’s not surprising she seemed amazed when I agreed.…
Last night Leftwing Idiot and I were hanging out at the castle after work. I thought I heard him say something and because I didn’t catch it properly, I asked him to repeat it.
He looked bemused and said, ‘I didn’t say anything’.…
A couple of months ago I described how I’d been ticcing a lot about goat sex. Well, it seems that my tics have moved on again, though predictably not very far. All they’ve done is jump species.
First it was “Fuck a sheep’ then “Goat sex”, and now it’s “Cat sex.”…
This morning I got an unexpected package through the post. It was small and well wrapped in cardboard and tape. In fact it was so well packaged I had to use a biro to break in. The longer it took, the more curious I became.…
Geminis – your life is full of hope. Don’t believe me? Then check out my predictions for your year ahead in the third Touretteshero World of the Zodiac video. Please share this with all the Geminis you know, love, or think need to open a savings account.…
The other night Zoë and I were hanging out together at the castle. We had a film on in the background while we worked on our computers. All of a sudden my tics intensified and I clenched my fists, flapped my arms, and squealed shrilly.…
A couple of nights ago I started singing a new song so sweetly it might almost have been described as saccharine – but the ticced lyrics were anything but.
“I’m having sex with animals again,
I’m having sex with animals again,
I’m having sex with animals again,
And they all like it hard in the face.”…
Today’s been a beautiful day. The sun was out, the air was warm and still, and it wasn’t hot or muggy. After a very productive morning and afternoon, my support worker Will and I set off to explore the nearby Burgess Park that’s recently been refurbished.…
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