It’s New Year’s resolutions time again, when we all promise ourselves we’ll get fit and lose weight after the excesses of Christmas, or even take on the really big challenges of drinking less or giving up smoking. But how many of our resolutions will we actually stick to beyond the first couple of weeks in January?…

This morning my carer picked me up from Leftwing Idiot’s and we went back to the castle. As we turned the corner into my street a jolt of discomfort shot up my back and my muscles instantly tensed and twisted in response.…

A couple of days ago when Zoë and I came back to the castle after we’d been out for a drink, we had a bit of a shock. We’d just come in and I’d turned off the burglar alarm when I heard a loud and unfamiliar noise coming from my bedroom.…

Tonight the castle hosted a special party in honour of Brian. Many of my regular friends and support workers turned out in his honour – Leftwing Idiot, Poppy, Bunny, Fran, Claire, King Russell and Fat Sister. Brian however failed to show up.…

As well as the ubiquitous pantomime, over-eating seems to be another Christmas tradition. It almost feels like an obligation to guzzle great quantities of extra food at this time of year. You’ve probably just tucked into a mince pie yourself.

If you have, it might not be the best time to start talking about puff pastry.…

This afternoon Fat Sister, King Russell and I went on a mini road trip to have a Christmas lunch with our collective families. At one point on the journey King Russell said something which neither Fat Sister nor I heard. When we asked him what he’d said he replied:

‘It’s nothing that bears repeating.’…

Poppy, Leftwing Idiot and I went to get a Christmas tree this evening. My wheelchair came in handy for getting it back to the castle.

But there was a slight glitch – I kept head-butting it all the way home, accompanied by my tics singing along:

“Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree, why are you so prickly?”…

Brian’s been around for a while now. I talk about him so often it’s starting to feel like he’s an absent housemate. Later this month I’m planning a Secret Santa for him at the castle – I’ll have some friends over, all bearing gifts for Brian.…

My tics have an amazing knack for latching on to a formula and producing a whole array of variations on a theme – much to the delight of my friends.

Let me explain.

Recently, for no reason at all, ‘Ninny Bus’ has been creeping in as a regular tic.…

On the way home in the cab tonight Fran and I were talking about holidays we’d been on. I suddenly had a strong memory of walking round a hotel I’d been staying at several years ago.

What was unusual about this was that it was the walking, not the holiday that I was remembering.…