Tics

Often funny, sometimes shocking, Touretteshero’s surreal and unusual tics are here. Search by keyword, category, or both to find a tic.

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Lamp-post, have you had any water today?
Lamp-post, lay off the carbs!
Imagine a skiwi fruit, it's like kiwi fruit but in salopettes.
If you were making a stack of shortbread would you use flour or lizard cream?
Sick as a parrot in a kiwi fruit’s arse.
Your nipples are like bananas in the morning.
How many chocolate bunnies does it take to fill Daffy Duck’s foreskin?
Swear at your inner peanut.
I love the way Sophie Dahl makes cake with her own porridge tits.
I’m going to fight strawberries on the beaches.